It’s been one week since my Pappy’s funeral. I guess most people would say “since we laid his body to rest”. But, honestly, I believe he was at rest the moment he took his last breath on Sunday May 17th. He went from being in pain one moment to being welcomed into the presence of his Lord and Savior the next. I had the honor of speaking at his funeral service last week to give a tribute. Since I can communicate my thoughts and feelings best through the written word, I thought it only fitting and deserving to share my tribute here on my blog as well. My prayer in sharing this tribute publicly, beyond just immediate friends and family, is that you would be encouraged to think long and hard about the people that you care about. If they’re still living, what do you cherish about them? Tell them while you still have time. Is a relationship strained, hurt, or broken? If they’re still living you have time to attempt to fix it. If they aren’t, God can heal and restore all things if you take it to Him. I also pray that those who believe in and trust in Jesus would have an eternal perspective on death and know that the season of dying and grieving can be made beautiful, and even be a blessing in ways, when we see it through eyes of those whose hope is in The Lord and run to Him in our grief.

(Photo from our wedding. Photo credit: Kathy Schilling)

The moment that I introduced myself at the podium I broke down in tears. I’m so thankful my dad ran right up and put his arms around me to hold me up and comfort me. That moment a week ago is such a tangible picture of God showing up for me personally. He is our daddy, ready and waiting to hold us and carry us through the hard times. Only God could have given me the strength, courage, and ability to deliver this tribute to my grandfather publicly in front of so many people. Even though I cried through the whole thing, I’ve never felt more thankful for the opportunity to share my heart. It will be a memory that will always bring tears to my eyes, but holds no regrets.

My tribute to Pappy:

“These last 18 months since Pappy’s cancer diagnosis have been hard on all of us. We watched a man we love go through more valleys and mountains than I can recount. Our prayers were answered at times in “No” with Pappy’s cancer diagnosis; in “Yes” when he miraculously lived through brain surgery giving us four more months with him; and in “Not Yet” in his last days when he was suffering and it was obvious that he was ready. In the midst of our loss and pain, this is certain: God is still good.

²⁸ And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. ²⁹ For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. ³⁰ And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.

³¹ What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? ³² He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? ³³ Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. ³⁴ Who then is the one who condemns? No one. Christ Jesus who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. ³⁵ Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? ³⁶ As it is written:

“For your sake we face death all day long;
    we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.”

³⁷ No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. ³⁸ For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, ³⁹ neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. – Romans 8:28-39 NIV

And that is where our hope is — in Jesus. (continued below)

(Photos of Pappy & Mimi’s 50th Anniversary party in 2011. Photos by me.)

“A few months ago I was driving… and I was thinking and praying. Most of my quiet time with God happens while I’m driving (what’s quiet time while raising a two year old?). I remember being angry because I could feel and sense Pappy slipping away from us. I think I told God that it would be awful for Pappy to die. God spoke to my heart so sweetly, He said, “Would that really be a bad thing?” And just like that He reminded me that the more that Pappy slipped away from us here on earth, the closer he was being drawn into the arms of Jesus. It was in that moment that God helped me to let go and surrender to His will for Pappy’s life.” (continued below)

(Photo of cousin David’s HS graduation.)

(Pappy meeting Noah, Justin’s graduation. Photos by me. My sister’s wedding photos by Hans & Nicole photography)

(Noah’s first Christmas and birthday. Photos by me)

(Easter 2014. Photos by me.)

“Noah and I spent a lot of time with Pappy and Mimi over the last four to six months. I’m so thankful for that time. I experienced Pappy loving Noah’s company, playing tractors and farm animals, and snuggling together in his chair. We had great lunchtime conversations. One of which we talked about Memaw (Mimi’s mom) and he said “I’ll be going to see her soon.” Even though I didn’t want to admit it at the time, I knew he was ready and his time would be soon. I truly believe that the most precious gift we can give those we love is our time and presence.

I am in awe of my grandmother’s strength, stability, perseverance, faith, gentleness, and love through all of this. Up until just days ago she was still believing for a miracle – that Pappy would be sustained or healed. That is amazing faith to me, to believe for his healing despite the diagnosis he was given and his declining health. Then within a few days time to begin to let go of her husband of 54 years because she loved him and couldn’t bear to see him suffer anymore. That is stronger faith yet because she faithfully trusted God’s plan and helped walk him into Glory.” (continued below)

(cell phone photos post brain surgery, then recovery at home.)

“I’m so thankful that God blessed me with Pappy and Mimi as my grandparents. They’ve taught me to embrace humble beginnings, to live simply, to welcome visitors, friends and family into our home (and feed them), to give generously, to serve faithfully, to pursue my unique passions and calling, to travel, to show up for family and friends, and to celebrate the important things in life like birthdays, anniversaries, and accomplishments.

I am thankful for the family that my grandparents have built and the legacy that my grandfather left. I find peace in knowing he’s with Jesus, he is no longer suffering, but fully restored, and in knowing that we will be reunited with him again one day in Heaven.

For we know that if the earthly tent we live in is destroyed, we have a building from God, an eternal house in heaven, not built by human hands. ² Meanwhile we groan, longing to be clothed instead with our heavenly dwelling, ³ because when we are clothed, we will not be found naked. ⁴ For while we are in this tent, we groan and are burdened, because we do not wish to be unclothed but to be clothed instead with our heavenly dwelling, so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life. ⁵ Now the one who has fashioned us for this very purpose is God, who has given us the Spirit as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come.

⁶ Therefore we are always confident and know that as long as we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord. ⁷ For we live by faith, not by sight. ⁸ We are confident, I say, and would prefer to be away from the body and at home with the Lord. ⁹ So we make it our goal to please him, whether we are at home in the body or away from it. ¹⁰ For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each of us may receive what is due us for the things done while in the body, whether good or bad. 2 Corinthians 5:1-10 NIV

I pray that everyone here today (or reading this now) would know the peace that my family has through Jesus. Pappy’s last words to me a few days before he died were “I’ll remember you in Heaven”. I got up from the bed next to him and kissed him on the cheek and told him it was okay and he went back to sleep. Thank you to everyone who is here today to honor Pappy and support Mimi and the rest of our family. We are grateful for you.”